


the bravery of spoken truths

by FirebreathingReader



Series: a man afraid of flying, and an angel afraid of falling [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean Winchester, Castiel & Sam Winchester Friendship, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, DeanCas - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Destiel Oneshot, M/M, POV Castiel (Supernatural), Supernatural - Freeform, supernatural oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:33:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29557785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FirebreathingReader/pseuds/FirebreathingReader
Summary: Cas overhears a conversation where Dean is on the phone, talking about someone he likes, a little sad, Cas goes to Sam to ask if the man he is in love with has fallen for someone else. Turns out a peaceful road trip is better suited for answering all his questions.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Destiel
Series: a man afraid of flying, and an angel afraid of falling [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2133996
Kudos: 63





	the bravery of spoken truths

_**c a s** _

He didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but when Cas was on his way past one of the storage rooms in the bunker, looking for Dean he could hear him talking inside the room. Cas knows one shouldn’t overhear other’s conversations, but something about the way was talking made Cas stop and listen.

“Jody... do you remember that thing I told you about?” A screeching sound came from inside as Dean opened or closed one of the steel cabinets. “Yeah. That.”

Only being able to hear one side of the conversation made Cas even more curious.

“I haven’t said anything about it to anyone else. Because, you know I’m not good with feelings and all of that, although I’m trying my best to get better. I just... lately all I’ve wanted to do is tell them and... but whenever I try to tell them I like them, maybe even love them... it just seems like my brain shuts off completely and I never manage to say anything.”

Standing in the middle of the dark hallway, Cas’s body goes still as he leans against the wall. He can feel his face falling from a bright smiling expression to a sad one.

_Dean likes someone? He’s... in love with someone?_

“I really like this person, and I just... don’t know what to do.” Again there are screeching noises coming from the room as Dean moves the shelves, most likely is looking for something. “I... I can’t tell you, but yes, it’s someone you know... that’s all I’m going to say, you’ll probably figure it out anyway.”

_If it’s someone Jody knows... I probably know them too? I shouldn’t be listening to this, it’ll only bring me more misery than my feeling already does._

“Ah! Found it!” Cas pushes himself from the wall and hurries further down the hall when he can hear Dean walking towards the door. Rounding a corner just in time as Dean comes out of the storage room, Cas is just able to hear Dean before he hangs up. “I’d love to go for a drive! I could probably be there by tomorrow night. Awesome! I’ll be expecting pie though.”

Dean heads in the other direction, taking the stairs leading to the garage.

“Yeah. Yeah okay, I’ll ask Cas if he wants to join.”

Cas finds Sam in the library working on translating some old books. Joining him at the table Cas is feeling restless, Dean's phone call on repeat in his head. Sam looks up at him as he sits down.

“Hey, Cas. You okay?”

“Hm? Yeah. Yeah, sure.” Still distracted, Cas picks up a book and pretends to show interest in what story the pages are telling.

“Hey, I was gonna ask you about that one. I can’t figure out the language or translation to that book, do you know it?”

“Yes. It’s an ancient Nordic language. But these are mostly runes of the Elder Futhark. You’re probably looking at the general Younger Futhark translations, but if you look for the Norwegian translations from the 2nd century it’ll be easier.”

“Wow. Do you... do you know it? The runes?”

“Of course I do.”

“So what does that say?”

“These are Period One inscriptions. Mostly just copies of runic stones, telling stories of hunting deer and seals and... Ah, something about a murder, and banishment. Nothing exciting really.” Closing the books with a heavy sight, Cas looks around at the other books. “This one is more exciting.”

“What is it?” Sam asks as he takes the book Cas is handing him.

“It’s called _Heimskringla_ , ‘the circle of the world’. It’s the Old Norse kings’ sagas. Could be useful to know if you were to deal with some ancient Norse kings. Scandinavians can be tricky people.”

“You know this one too?”

“Of course. Snorri Sturluson is one of the greatest historians and poets there is. He was a great man, a brave man. ’Bravery is half the victory.’”

“You really do know everything, huh?”

“Not everything. Not the things that matter.”

“Cas?” Meeting Sam's eyes, Cas could see how he has picked up on Cas’s lowered mood. “Talk to me.”

“It’s nothing really...”

“Okay.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Is... Is Dean... Uhm. Seeing some?”

“What do you mean?” Clearly taken aback by the question and sudden change of topic, Sam sits back in his chair studying Cas. “Like romantically?”

Cas’s nods earn him a sad smile from the younger Winchester.

“Why do you ask?”

“I didn’t mean to. But I overheard him talking about how he had some feelings and that there was someone he liked.”

“Dean likes someone else? Not that I know of. Why don’t you ask him?” Suddenly uncomfortable by the thought of asking _Dean_ , Cas shifts in his chair, refusing to meet Sam's look.

“It’s not important. Forget that I asked.”

“Castiel. I think maybe you should talk to him, ask him. Maybe you two can fina...” When Dean walks in, Sam goes silent as he studies them.

“What are you gossiping about?”

“Nothing. No gossip. Just some boring old Nordic texts.” The words fly out of Cas way too quickly to be subtle, and by the look Dean gives him, panic raises and Cas is quick to his feet. “I’m... I’m gonna go see if I can find a copy of The Elder Edda, I think you’ll enjoy that one Sam.”

Walking too fast, he crosses the room to leave the brothers alone.

“Cas!”

“What’s his deal? Grumpy cat much?”

“Dean, shut up.”

Cas leaves the bunker and doesn’t return until the dark sets in, walking past their living room with a quick “good night” before locking himself in his room.

“Dean just... talk to him.”

“Why? What did I do?”

“It’s more about what you didn’t do.”

“What’s that even supposed to mean?”

As Cas walks into the kitchen the next morning, the brothers go silent as they watch him sit down at the table.

“Morning, angel.” Dean mumbles words hard to interpret as his mouth is filled with food.

“Morning.”

“So, what are your plans for today?” Sam asks both of them.

“No plans.” Cas doesn’t really need food, but he’s come to enjoy it, even managing to taste it, so when Dean silently offers him a sandwich from his plate, he takes it while giving Dean a small smile.

“I have to visit Jody, I found that thing she was looking for. You want to come, Cas?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you, dumbass.”

“Uhm, yeah sure. That would be nice, I haven’t talked to Claire in a while.”

“What about you Sammy?” Dean looks over at his brother, waiting for an answer. Sam looks between Dean and Cas for a moment before shaking his head.

“No, you go. I’ll stay here. Eileen is coming over tomorrow.” Watching Dean and Sam speak, Cas thinks he can see a look of relief on Dean's face as Sam says no to his invitation.

_Probably just wishful thinking, Cas._

“Okay. I’m leaving in about an hour, you ready?”

“Yes.”

*

Low music is filling the car with a peaceful silence between Cas and Dean as they head down the road. They haven’t talked much, so Cas has mostly been lost in his own thoughts. Only when they stop to get gas and something to eat, does Cas return to reality, but his thoughts still half distract him.

“Cas?”

“Yeah?” Looking up, Cas watches as Dean finishes his burger. They’re parked just outside town, sitting against the hood of the impala and enjoying the late summer sun.

“I’ve wanted to talk to you about something. Tell you something.”

“Okay.”

“I... I don’t really know how to say this and I suck at talking about feelings and stuff, but I kinda wanna tell you. Sooner rather than later.”

“I’m listening.”

“You see the thing is... Recently I’ve... Well, there’s someone I... I sort of like someone and I’m totally screwing this up but I seriously don’t know how to say this.” He’s nervously rambling, his hands restlessly moving around. Turning his face away from Cas, his eyes search for something to rest upon. “What I’m trying to say...”

“It’s okay Dean.”

“What?” Looking back at Cas in confusion, Dean goes suddenly still, his nervous hands falling to his sides.

“I might have... well I didn’t mean to, but I heard you talking to Jody on the phone the other day and...”

“You heard me?” A small hint of panic rises in his voice as he carefully watches Cas.

“I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry. But it’s okay Dean, I understand you’ve found someone you’ve developed feelings for? That’s great.”

“Uhm... it is?”

“Yeah! I mean you deserve to be happy, and whoever gets to make you happy is a really lucky person. They don’t know how lucky they are.”

“Cas... what?” At the look Dean gives him, it’s Cas’s turn to panic, uncomfortably shifting against the car.

_I need to shut up._

_I’m going to say something stupid if I don’t shut up._

“You’ve been through so much, and you really deserve to finally have some peace, happiness. And I think it’s great that you’ve finally found someone to share that peace with.”

_Shut up, Ca_ s.

“I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable, Dean... I just know what it’s like to love you.”

“What did you say?” It’s barely a whisper but Cas ignores him and keeps on nervously rambling.

_Oh by the heavens, Cas. Just shut up._

“And whoever gets to hold your love, they have to be the luckiest soul on earth. I love you and I’m sorry this is the way I told you, I wasn’t supposed to tell you, and I’m sorry. But that doesn’t matter, I’m happy for you. Your happiness is all that matters.”

“Cas.”

“I’m...”

“CAS! Will you just shut up for one second?!”

“I’m sorry Dean. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“This is not how I was gonna do this.” A heavy sight comes from Dean and when Cas looks at him he has his face hidden in his hands.

“I’m sorry if I’ve just ruined everything.”

“For two seconds, just shut up, please!” Cas finally goes quiet as Dean pushes himself away from the car to stand in front of Cas. “What did you say?”

“Wha... that I’m happy fo...”

“No. The other thing.” Cas’s hands are shaking and it takes a few moments before he can look up to meet Dean's eyes, finally repeating the words he tried to hide.

“Uhm... I... I love you, Dean. And I don’t exp...”

“Don’t. Just say it again.”

“I love you?”

“Is it a question?”

“No. No question. It’s the only thing I’ve ever been so sure of in my entire existence.”

“You just fucking stole my moment and I don’t know if it makes me angry or just even more in love with you than I was already. Although I didn’t think that was possible.”

Cas’s eyes go wide as Dean's words reach him. He doesn’t trust himself to have heard him right.

“What?” Cas isn’t sure if Dean heard him, but judging by the small smile he gives Cas, he probably did.

“I love you, stupid.” Stepping closer, Dean reaches out to grab the front of Cas’s jacket, then he moves his hands up. One resting on his neck, the other cupping his face, holding on to him so that he’s forced to look at Dean. Not that he’d ever want to look away. “I’ve been trying to tell you for so long, but I’ve never been brave enough. And then I sort of told Jody, and she told me to go for it. I was talking about you, Cas. You.”

“Me?” Cas is so shocked he feels like he’s paralyzed, not able to move a single cell in his body.

“Yeah you, stupid. I’ve spent all day in the car trying to find the courage to tell you. And then you come in and steals my moment.”

“I’m sorry.” But Dean only laughs at him and smiles the biggest smile Cas has seen on him in a long while.

“It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve robbed me.”

“What?”

“Well the first thing you ever did was steal my heart, so...” the stunned look on Cas’s face makes him laugh again, earning a small and sweet smile from Cas too.

“Are you saying...”

“Yes, Cas. I’m trying to tell you I love you. I'm in love with you. I’ll tell you however many times you need me to, and then some. I love you, Cas. I am in love with you. I want you, and no one else. I love you too.”

Cas can feel his eyes tearing up and as he reaches his hand to lay it atop Dean against his face, Dean leans in closer, his eyes moving between Cas’s eyes and lips.

_Is this really happening?_

“If this is a dream, please wake me up before something happens that I won’t be able to let go of.”

“It’s no dream, Cas. If it is I don’t ever want to wake up. But it’s not a dream. It’s real.”

“Then why haven’t you kissed me yet?”

“Maybe I’m still working on that bravery thing.”

They both hold their breaths as Dean leans down the rest of the way, closing the distance between their lips. Cas didn’t know it could feel like this. A simple touch of the lips on some else’s. It’s nothing like hands touching. Nothing like an embrace. He’s thought about kissing Dean countless times, but actually getting to kiss him...

Cas will never recover from that.

“Wow.” It’s only a whisper as Dean breathlessly pulls away, smiling down at Cas. Eyes bright.

“I think you need to do that again.”

“Oh, really?”

“Absolutely.”

“Whatever the angel wishes.”

Standing there at the side of the road, in the middle of nowhere, Cas is kissed by Dean for the first time. And second. And third...

Forgetting the world, forgetting the time, forgetting where they were going, they stand there in each other’s embrace, only pulling away for the shortest second to draw in a breath, before diving back into each other.

They only pull apart when Dean gets a message, their phones long-forgotten bringing them back to the world. Quickly typing out a reply, Dean steps close to Cas again.

“We should probably get going.”

“Yeah.”

“Cas...”

“Dean...”

Leaning their foreheads together, Dean smiles down at Cas softly as he closes his eyes, holding on to his angel. When Cas stands up, he tightens his arms around Dean, not wanting to let go, gently brushing their lips together in the whisper of a kiss, Cas smile at the feel of his man finally in his arms.

“I never thought I’d ever be brave enough to tell you.” The wind rustles the threes at the side of the road, sending a chill down Cas’s back as it reaches them. He’s not sure if it’s the wind or Dean that makes him shiver, but he welcomes it anyway.

“‘Bravery is half the victory.’”

“That one of those boring Norse dudes you and Sam were nerding out about?”

“Maybe.”

“I like it.” Cas can feel Dean smile against his lips, making him smile too.

“I like you.”

“That’s good because I love you so much I’m afraid it’s gonna knock me off my feet.”

“I should hold on tight to you then.” As to emphasize his words, Cas pulls him even closer, brushing his nose against Dean’s. “So you don’t fall.”

“You should, but you’re way too late if you wanted to keep me from falling.”

“I won’t let go if you don’t.”

“Then it's a good thing I’m planning on staying here in your arms for as long as I draw breaths.”

And those words might just be the most beautiful Cas has ever heard.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!<3
> 
> (and yes, I'm Scandinavian so I can trash us...)


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